This morning, I woke up with grey skies in an off-grid house encapsulated in forest next to the man I love.
I got to enjoy his lovely family (and his sister’s excellent food) with him again.
Just a weekend like any other. Just as magic as the last one.
Weekends of wine tasting and hiking and learning to play. Weeks of business building and kid care and making it work.
One year. It’s almost been one year.
It seems almost impossible.
One year ago, I started saying yes to what I wanted. I started saying no to things I thought I did. I let go of the things that hurt me. I embraced what made me happy. I fell madly.
This year, I’ve grown so much more than I could have imagined. I exchanged my one-woman-writer shop for a team of ten and a business that is on fire. I changed my hair, my clothes, my relationships, my house (twice).
Looking back at everything I’ve written over the past year, I am sobbing because I still can’t believe how good this has been, how good it is. I am bursting at my seams with gratitude and joy, because even when it is so difficult I’m not sure I can go another step, I am still so, so lucky.
I left so much behind, and in return, I gained so much more. Everyday, a little more falseness falls away. Layers continue to shed, and things drop away that were never mine to begin with. People who acted like they cared (until, of course, I became happy and successful) have disappeared. Some days, I feel so light I could almost fly. Others, I feel raw and exposed. Both are necessary to continue on.
Things are still evening out after a year marked with turmoil and sweat and sun-kissed days I’ll never forget. I am learning to believe in what’s possible, not just what is. And I’ve never felt so certain of what I want. Of how little I want. Of how content I am with tiny dreams filled with laughter and long walks.
I have so far to go still. But it feels so close. Until then, it’s only a matter of learning to live in the present.
Should be easy after all this, right?
Recent + Relevant Posts:
A big ask – and lots to give.
As some of you know, I’ve been staying at my mom’s since August. It’s helped me stabilize my finances some and keep up to date on all those lovely little pieces of debt I’ve been paying off while I was searching for a job. And if you’ve known me long, you know that staying there…
What happened. (Now leave me alone.)
Lately, I’ve been a little, um, emotional. Tapped out. Closer to fight or flight than I want to be. I kicked a foot-shaped dent into the side of some asshole’s Mini Cooper who tried to get me to get into his car. (I’m pro sex work/ers, but I’m real anti old white guys thinking everyone…
Fuck love and light.
Trigger warning: Woo woo bitches with no backbone taken to church below. I am very, very angry. I’ve been working online for the past 7+ years, and let me tell you, I never planned on being a marketer. Once upon a time, I just wrote. I shared the things I was learning in the hopes…
It took me 7 years to find sustainable success. How long will it take you?
I’ve been having a lot of great conversations with my colleagues about what it takes to be successful in business, especially around how long it takes. The common theme I’ve heard from people I respect and have watched grow alongside me is that it takes many of us 7 years. SEVEN YEARS?! I hear you…
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Dusti Arab, Fractional CMO
And the founder of the reinvention co, a marketing consultancy specializing in working with personality-driven companies with small teams.
Intense, fun, and relentlessly practical, Dusti understands the lives of small business owners are deeply intertwined with their businesses, and if their marketing is going to be sustainable, it can't get in the way of why they do what they do. (And honestly? It should be fun so they actually want to do it.)
She is the host of Referral Worthy, a podcast for small business owners ready to go from "best kept secret" to the go-to name in their niche.