What going to Vegas solo taught me about asking for what you want

“If I’m doing Vegas wrong, then I don’t want to be right,” I thought as I sat bathrobe-clad at a glass-topped table getting ready to scarf down a couple of tacos. Looking around the hotel room, a glorious upgraded suite in The Venetian thanks to a lovely woman at the counter who I let it slip to that I’d ended up here alone, it seemed like things would probably be okay now.

It’d been a more eventful trip than I’d planned on already.

Earlier in the evening, I was accosted by someone who we will refer to hereafter as Algerian Elon Musk, an energy tycoon who was speaking at a major conference in the building.

I’d been looking at a menu on the wall when he’d come up next to me and asked if I wanted to have a drink. I hesitated.

That was my first mistake.

But really, I figured, it’s better than eating alone. And I had a chance to practice my French with a native speaker! That was cool. Him asking me to change my flight plans and head to Hong Kong as his escort the next day after 15 minutes of casual conversation? Less cool.

After trying to make a clean getaway, I ended up having to have security escort me back up to my room.

Hiding behind the locked door, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, ran a bath, and proceeded to, ahem, chill the fuck out.

Mixtapes. Mixtapes are chill, right?

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized how this seemed to be a theme that kept coming up in my life. (Not being accosted by foreign men – that’s unusual even for me.) But the idea that I’d just kind of go with things and see what happens.

And you know what? I’m fucking over it.

I know what I want. I know who I am. I know where I’m heading.

And seriously?

If you let life happen to you, you get what you get. If you take an active role, you get what you want.

The rest of my trip was spent in the bath, eating tacos, lounging by the pool, reading, and being flirted with by wonderful staff, interesting patrons, and a couple of guys back home.

When you ask for what you want, you quickly find doors opening to help you get it.

This past week, Facebook Memories reminded me about the vision board I made this time last year, and I was shocked. Why? Because everything I’d imagined or dreamed of happening that I added had come true.

In reality, I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Last year, I decided to make those things a priority, and ever since, I’ve been searching for opportunities to make that happen. Any small action I could take to draw myself a little closer to the future I had dreamed up, I made sure to take.

For inspiration to take more creative action, get this.

It may not happen on the timeline you want, the way you plan, or even the way you wanted it to, but time and again I’ve seen my dreams coming true because I purposefully set them into motion and took action towards them.

The beautiful part is the journey is as satisfying as getting what we want. It makes it that much sweeter when we finally do get whatever it is we desire.

So what about you? Are you ready to actually go for what you want on your terms? Here’s a short list to get you there.

1. Set hard goals

If it doesn’t scare you, you’re doing it wrong. Your goals are what propel you forward, and hard for you probably looks different than hard for me. Hard is relative – and that’s okay. What’s not okay is playing smaller than you actually want to. Go for what you really want, gorgeous.

2. Set small goals, too

Everybody needs a quick win, and if you’re working towards a reach goal, you’re going to need signs of success along the way. Whether the smaller goals you set are related to your primary goals or not, give yourself the space to win on the reg – you’re going to be much happier over time! (And hey, it makes setbacks less painful.)

3. Have something to lose

Don’t make the stakes so high that you can’t create, but knowing you’re going to lose time, money, or other things you value if you miss a deadline or can’t make your goal happen is an incredibly valuable way to stop yourself from procrastinating and send you into full on get-er-done mode.

4. Say no

Don’t let anyone waste your time. (Especially men.) Don’t agree to things you’re not into. If you don’t want to do it, delegate, automate, or say fuck it. It’s your life, doll.

5. Get help

If you want to learn something, get a mentor. This is without question the fastest way to achieve what you want. I’ve talked to SO many would-be entrepreneurs over the years who are so held up by the technical know-how, they never even start. But if you reach out, you’ll find what you need. There’s no excuse not to.

How will you reach for what you want today?

Because honey, if I can get ditched in Vegas and make the best of it, you can absolutely set a goal and crush it.